Giving Up on Reason
by Fyliwion
Summary: Sometimes it becomes too much even for her, and she just wishes she could reveal it all for him.


**Title: **Giving up on Reason  
**Rating: **T  
**Day/Theme: **Day 2/ A constant strain on reason  
**Fandom: **Detective Conan  
**Characters/Pairing: **Ran/Shinichi  
**Disclaimer: **I'm really not Gosho or you'd never see updates... ever... unfortunately.

**Author's Note: **Yes. It's actually a Ran/Shinichi fic, and it's mostly fluff. Well it's been seven years on this silly site, so I suppose I should honor my early fandom once in awhile ^_^ Thanks for all of you who've stuck by me over the years!

* * *

It was days like today that were a constant strain on her reason.

Not every day, although it might feel that way between him, her father, the cases, and the falling bodies from the sky, but mostly just days like today.

Days where it was _soi blatantly obvious/i._

How many times had she cornered him? Three? Four?

Every time, wilder and wilder ways to disprove, but by now she _knew. _

He didn't even try to hide the fact he was using a bowtie, and she'd already gotten a good look at it by this point. Snuck a peek when he was sleeping at an inn, and she'd even managed to sneak off with it and try some of the settings. You didn't live that long with detectives and not get some idea how to do a bit of deducting yourself.

Two most used settings? Her father's and Shinichi's.

She really wasn't an idiot.

Her mother had just come out and asked one day over lunch. It had nearly caused her to fall out of the chair when she'd calmly asked how a seventeen year old boy could become a seven year old and if Ran's father had any idea yet.

Sometimes Ran wondered herself.

She knew by now he didn't like being her little brother anymore than she liked having to pretend. She also knew he _seemed _to be stuck that way, but for the life of him wasn't about to tell Ran a thing. She also figured out that Ai-chan seemed to have some sort of involvement as well.

Hattori had already given away the fact _he _knew from almost day one.

The problem was, she didn't have the evidence of why.

It was like knowing that the butler did it, in the kitchen, at seven o'clock… but not knowing why or how. She'd already tried to get a confession, but the substantial proof was missing, and meanwhile she had no idea on the why or how at all.

At first she could deal. After all it wasn't so unusual, but after awhile it began to encroach on her nerves. She knew it wasn't fair, and it gained her looks from her friends when she would snap at Conan—but then she couldn't really help it.

Especially when he was careless… like standing in front of the whole scene with that stupid bow tie, or simply solving the case using i _what he'd seen on TV. _

Hah.

It ate at her as more time passed, and she'd escape to the Kudo residence after awhile. The only place where it wasn't _Conan _haunting her, but at least it was just Shinichi. Shinichi who was gone on a case. Shinichi… Shinichi before she knew he was living with her, and making her ready to strangle Conan every time she had to drag him somewhere else where she'd _never _let Shinichi go.

Every time he heard something he wasn't suppose to, although she'd gotten better about drifting the subject away from Shinichi.

At least she no longer broke down around him.

And cases like today, cases where it was so obviously Shinichi solving them, and so obvious that he seemed to no longer even care that he was _seven years old _and _hiding_ that the strain became too much.

As soon as Conan left for Agasa's when they got home she was off to the Kudo residence.

Okiya had left, whoever he was, Ran still wasn't sure why Shinichi had been letting him stay there. But a few months later and the dust was settled once more, and the residence was just as empty as it had been before the boarder had ever set foot inside.

It was dark when she entered, and she didn't bother to turn on the lights. Why would she? They might have "Conan" curious, and then she'd have to make up another excuse why she was looking around Shinichi's house alone.

Or worse she might start crying, again, which wasn't something her or Shinichi really needed.

She jumped when she saw someone sitting in the chair in the library, a shadowy figure that caused her to clutch her purse and reach for the small can of pepper spray her father had recently forced her to carry along.

Personal, with as many murders as they came across, she would have preferred a taser.

She carefully crept up towards them, ready to yell when she caught site of the Detective Boy's badge on the table next to the chair. Looking around the edge, the soft, steady sound someone breathing, and curled up in the chair Shinichi.

Not Conan… Shinichi.

She didn't yell, although she felt her hand fly to her face. She sat next to the chair staring at the detective, and found a bitter smile on her lips at the glasses still perched on his face. She reached out, slipping them off and setting them on the table next to him.

Ran brushed the hair from his face as he simply shifted deeper into the chair. Innocent. It was easy to see the difference from his usual expressions, and in someways looked even younger than Conan did much of the time. Shinichi… it'd been months, almost a year since she last saw him.

Except how…

"Shinichi…"

Bright blue eyes fluttered open, staring up at her questioning, "Did it work? How much time do I have left? I know she said only a couple hours but-" The question fell off his lips before he had an opportunity to take it back, although she could tell she'd caught him in a moment where he wasn't sure who he was anyway.

She paused, not certain what to say, and the confusion began making its way as he took in who it was, "Ah- Ran I-"

"Yes Shinichi, it did-" she said fighting back the tears. "Only a couple hours until what?"

He jumped in the chair looking at her, and then reaching up before seeing the glasses on the table. "Ah- that is…" he said trying to piece everything together. "Wait… when… how did you-"

"Just tell me next time okay you idiot?" She said poking him in the chest, "It seems a shame that whenever you change back I never get to spend anytime with you." If he wouldn't take the initive she would, after all there had to be _some _reason he was staying with her… right?

"Ran-"

"No. You're here, I'm here, and I don't care if you have thirty minutes left. Can we just be _us _for once?" She asked, her voice breaking as she said it. "I _miss _you. Even when you're _there _I miss you. Please? There's no murders, no falling bodies, no earth shattering mysteries, can we just pretend things are normal… just this once?"

He leaned forward pressing his forehead against hers with a smile, "Yeah… I think we can do that."

"Thank you…" she whispered closing her eyes.

"And Ran?"

"Yes Shinichi?"

"Before something does happen?"

"Just tell me."

He tilted up her chin, blue eyes glittering.

"I love you."


End file.
